None-sense

By Hplar Bearmdore and other suitable mis-spelligns

I can see clearly now the cow has gone. As clearly as if looking through 8 feet of ice, but that is still an improvement. The space inside my head is expanding daily to accommodate all the stuff that I hoard in there, but it still gets lonely at night. I should invent some friends really, but when I do I keep falling out with them, they're idiots! I wanted a paradox but kept contradicting myself. In the end I fell out with me and we are still not talking. I have been told that I live my life on an alternate plane. I told them I don't like flying except in my dreams. In my dreams I can twist the space-time continuum and make into pretty patterns that no-one else can see. A bit like the 'aurora borealis'.

I got this letter, it might even be for me, it is mine now anyhow -

Please come to my party in Edinburg, it is on the 34st of Octember 0x7DF, dress casual but not offensive, bring a friend. Bring a stranger if you like, but learn their name before you get here. There will be the usual attractions, The binary people who will be there in 1's and 10's, the indecisive twins may be there, or not, they can't make their mind up. Bring a pet, I like cats, but I can't manage a whole one. Bring a drink, but nothing that contains water as I hate getting wet. Feel free to help yourself to chocliate. There will be an Ambliance stand by in case of emergent. We do not know what time it will end as no clocks are allowed.

Your faithfully,

Nathaniel Westminster

Nat West to my friends.

I did go, only to find out that it was my Psychiatrist's appointment. I mean her appointment that I had picked up by mistake. She missed out on that one, but they want me to go next time, or sooner if physically possible. Anything is possible really, but maybe not in the real world. The real world seems really silly at times. Laugh, Oh! How we laughed! Miracles happen every day, it is just we who have closed our minds to them. For my next trick I am going to move to an alternate dimension, maybe permanently, that depends on the wallpaper.

It is hard to hold on to reality when you are not sure what it really looks like. After all life is just and illusion and the players are random organisation of molecules made to resemble people. My friend's name is Teresa Green. I have told her they are not, leaves are green, trees are brown but she doesn't agree. Words are funny like that, how can something in black and white have so much colour and depth. When my words made sense I was confused as I was the only one who could understand them, now I am not even sure about that.

The thing that makes me really happy is words, some have deliciously rounded meanings, others quite pointy letters, and some are really naughty like **** and ****, but the ******* would not let me put them in so you will have to use your imagination if you give a ******* about them.

I am going now as I feel the edge of a page approaching. I neither want to fall over that or any other grammatical disasters or badly written Daedalean symphonies. I will finish talking to you as soon as I get to the end of